What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Less talking, more tequila
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm bleeding and have questions
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
