So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
