He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
