An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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