last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
