shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
