dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
