it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think people are normalizing furries
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
