I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
