You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
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