I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
