i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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