I heard we made out
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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