Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's shark week go big or go home
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
