kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All the doctor said was why
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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