belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
