I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
