Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
