If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
