no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
