He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
