think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
