I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
