You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
