i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
