You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
