This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize