put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
