I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
