I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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