Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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