sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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