so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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