So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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