Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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