If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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