Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
