Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He has the fingertips of a God
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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