Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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