Cold hands, warm shart.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
