Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
