in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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