We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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