i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
