So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
