it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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