He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
