I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
