my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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