it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
