I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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